The Holy Grail of Trash

Bless Michael K and DListed - you can always count on him to feature the classiest broads in the game; in this case Finland's own Johanna Tukiainen! Despite the fact that I actually have family in Finland, I'm not that eager to keep up with their usually depressing culture; ms. Tukiainen, however, seems to be a welcome splash of colour in an otherwise dire country. 

True Glamour Doll

Johanna first made a name of herself in 2003 when she decided to launch a Finnish answer to the burlesque Pussycat Dolls act named "The Dolls". Ms. Tukiainen  stated that she searched long and hard to find the right combination of talent and professionalism when she put the group together - as you can see in the video below (circa 1:35 in), their act is much classier than anything Robin Antin ever dreamed of! Sadly, instead of touring world stadiums the Dolls has seemingly split up. Imagine what kind of music they would've made together?

Despite splitting up with the Dolls, it didn't keep Johanna from shaking her thing - no, instead she brought in her stunningly gorgeous sister Julia and has kept on doing shows in classy clubs. The old vile hag Madonna should really consider hiring Johanna as her choreographer - maybe her shows would actually be worth the outrageous prices she makes her mentally challenged fans pay?  

Of course the Scandinavian beauty has experienced some scandals during this time - most notably how she "accidentally" leaked her sexy sms messages from a politician. She's also been tortured by rumours that she's doing escort work on the side - obviously made up by jealous haters who can't move it like she can! But more importantly, she's also decided to release a single titled "L√∂√∂ppijulkkis" - or "Tabloid Celebrity" in English. She's also embarked on a massive tour that would put any artist to shame! 

I'm not sure how the single has been recieved in Finland, but I can only imagine it being constantly blasted on radio and number one for weeks! Of course, the cynical part of me suspects that Finland isn't ready for the kind of fresh and luxurious talent Johanna represents, but I pray I'm wrong and we get an album out of her! 


Mike said...

I'm not sure the world is ready for Johanna's genius but I pray I'm wrong. She is such a shy and delicate flower. I just hope she can stand all the attention that comes with being Finland's greatest living musical talent!

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